Cheaper than therapy. Better than decaf.
Anger management is fine in theory. In practice, it's expensive, inconvenient, and there's no coffee. This tee is for the Dachshund owner who has found a better system — one that involves a large mug, a sausage dog on the sofa, and absolutely zero group sessions.
If you've ever started a morning with coffee in one hand and a Dachshund in the other and thought "this is it, this is the cure" — this shirt was made for you. Available in 16 colours from S to 5XL.
👕 STYLE
- Unisex T-Shirt — relaxed fit, lightweight and breathable, perfect for every morning that starts with coffee
Available in sizes S — 5XL.
🎨 COLOURS (16 options)
Sand · Kiwi · Daisy · Lime · White · Ash · Light Blue · Heliconia · Red · Orange · Light Pink · Sports Grey · Gold · Turf Green · Irish Green · Carolina Blue
💡 All 16 are light tones — great for showing the print in full detail. White, Sports Grey, and Sand give the cleanest everyday look. Heliconia and Orange are bold choices for anyone who takes their coffee the same way — loud and unapologetic.
📐 PRODUCT DETAILS
- Material: 100% pre-shrunk cotton (or 96% cotton / 4% spandex for stretch variants)
- Pre-shrunk: No surprise shrinking after the first wash
- Print: "Coffee Because Anger Management Is Too Expensive" Dachshund graphic — bold and fade-resistant
- Fit: Unisex relaxed fit — comfortable for all body types
- Care: Machine wash cold · Lay flat to dry · No bleach · Wash inside out to preserve print
🎁 FOR THE DACHSHUND OWNER WHO HAS THEIR PRIORITIES SORTED
This tee works as a gift for any Dachshund parent who drinks coffee, which is all of them. It lands especially well for birthdays, Christmas, or any occasion where the person receiving it will immediately say "this is me." Order 3+ items and save 10% — worldwide shipping included.
❓ FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
+ What does the design look like?
The tee features the "Coffee Because Anger Management Is Too Expensive" slogan with a Dachshund graphic — a funny, relatable print for anyone who relies on their morning coffee and their sausage dog in equal measure. Check the product images for a full view of the print.
+ Is this shirt true to size?
Yes — the unisex relaxed fit runs true to size. If you prefer a looser look, size up one. Check the size guide on the product page for exact chest measurements.
+ Will it shrink after washing?
No — the fabric is pre-shrunk before printing so it keeps its shape after washing. Machine wash cold and lay flat to dry for best results.
+ Which colour shows the print best?
White, Sports Grey, and Sand give the cleanest contrast for the print. Light Blue and Carolina Blue are popular for an easy everyday look. Heliconia and Orange are for the bold ones — same energy as their coffee order. All 16 are light tones that work well with the design.
+ Is this a good gift for a Dachshund owner?
If they drink coffee and own a Dachshund, yes — immediately and without question. It's the kind of gift where the recipient reads the slogan and says "who told you?" Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or any occasion where you want to give something genuinely funny and personal.
+ What is the shipping time?
We ship worldwide. Standard delivery is typically 7–14 business days depending on your location. Order 3+ items to automatically save 10%.
⚠️ Colours may appear slightly different depending on your screen settings. Sizes are approximate — please refer to the size guide before ordering.
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Looking for a comfy, snug-looking t-shirt to wear this summer? Look no further as here it is. You will immediately fall in love with the irresistible softness and those unique prints. Even better, it makes for the best gift for the one you adore.
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 Awesome fit
This unisex t-shirt is super comfy and soft. Want to look years younger, hip, and fashionable? Find the size that fits you best, and wear it with your favorite jeans or shorts
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 Unique design
Show off our unique fashion style with our funny, inspirational unisex t-shirt.
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 Great gift ideas
Give it to your beloved ones or get one for yourself. You will love the soft feel and want to wear it all day long.
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Product details:
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Material: 100% pre-shrunk cotton, or composition (96% cotton, 4% spandex) for maximum comfortable stretch. Products will be automatically fulfilled with existing materials to optimize production and delivery time to customers. |
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Machine wash cold |
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Lay flat to dry |
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No bleach |
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Disclaimer
- Due to variations of light and color settings of computer/personal device screens, colors may appear slightly different from photographic images.
- Due to the manufacturing process, sizes of items listed in descriptions are approximate and actual size may vary slightly.
- Due to the manufacturing process, alignment of images may vary slightly
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